My name is Russ and I haven’t had a bet today or since my last meeting. I took a break from writing for a couple of months, mainly because I didn’t actually have much to say during the lockdown but I can report that I have never felt better mentally, physically or emotionally. I have still been working hard at my recovery via Zoom meetings and talking to other compulsive gamblers outside of those meetings. I even joined a new G.A. group on a Thursday night/Friday morning my time in Georgia and it has been fantastic. Really good for me to get to know new people on my recovery journey and it’s a group I intend to join once a week...as long as I am awake.
As the title of the blog suggests, I have finally finished Steps 11 and 12 which I have been putting off for a few months. Mainly putting off Step 11 as having read the worksheet I just knew I wouldn’t get a lot out of it. I got it done though and I am glad I have worked through the Steps. If I’m being totally honest, I don’t see me working them all again in the way I have done but I will definitely revisit some in that format and I am potentially working through them with a few members from my local G.A. My view on the Steps is that they are worth doing but they are not the be all and end all of recovery. There were some Steps I didn’t get a lot out of and others that I did but I can see the benefit they could bring to others.
So, what’s next?
Well, I plan to work through the Smart Recovery Handbook and share that on my blog as I think it will benefit my recovery in a major way. I will also continue to attend meetings on a regular basis and try to improve myself as I continue on my journey. I’m nowhere near the finished article and I doubt I ever will be but recovery still excites me and I still get something from it. Honestly, 15+ months ago when I entered recovery my biggest fear was I would get bored of it and complacent. It still is my biggest fear in recovery and I am surprised I’m still this keen about it. It really does feel like a lifestyle change and not just a temporary fad.
Simply put, recovery if possible and it is there for anyone who wants it. I have no desire to go back to gambling and I am excited for the future. That said, I still take it one day at a time (or ODAAT...I hate that so much) and I know that if I try to do the right things today then I won’t gamble. Any plans I have for the future hinges on me getting through today gamble free.
So, that’s it for a quick update. Steps 11 and 12 will be published on the blog following this and I will be back with some SMART Recovery soon.